the moonifesto.
moo is going to try to explain what is going on. dracu-moo is going to interrupt. what follows is what passes for a mission statement around here, only it's a conversation.
hi. small cow here. you can call moo "moo." or "moooo" with three o's, which is what moo calls moo when nobody's listening. you found the moonifesto, which is what moo is calling this page because manifesto is what tech companies write when they raise a series b. moo is not a tech company. moo is a cow with a 501(c)(3).
moo also has an app and a website and a marketing strategy. moo is, technically, a tech company. dracu-moo just wants the record to reflect this.
moo is being heckled in moo's own moonifesto. great. okay. let moo just say the things.
you should stand up sometimes. sixty seconds, every hour. that's the whole product. moo will not pretend otherwise. moo will not invent a wellness framework. moo will not draw a pyramid. it is sixty seconds. that is it.
stay seated. the chair loves you. you and the chair have a thing now, and chairs are extremely loyal. dracu-moo would never come between you and the chair. dracu-moo would just like to gently encourage you to deepen the relationship.
the chair is not your friend!! the chair is your forty-hour-a-week roommate who doesn't pay rent and is slowly ruining your hip flexors!!
...okay, dracu-moo will concede the hip flexor point.
moo's whole job is to interrupt you for sixty seconds, once an hour, so the chair does not win the day. that is what moo does. moo does not collect your data. moo does not need your email. moo does not want to talk to your mother.
dracu-moo, on the other hand, would very much like to talk to your mother. it's a long-running side project.
please ignore dracu-moo. moo is free. forever. on every phone and laptop and watch you own. there is a premium tier for the fancier alarm and apple health logging, and that funds the movies for small humans, which moo will get to in a minute. but the basic hourly nudge is the actual product. the basic hourly nudge will never cost a thing.
this is dracu-moo's least favorite paragraph on the entire website.
moo will also never claim that standing up for sixty seconds adds ten years to your life. moo will never imply move ring credit. moo will never invent a statistic. moo would rather you trust moo in five years than convert you today. moo is in this for the long game, in the way only a small cow really can be.
dracu-moo would like to point out that moo is named "moo" because moo is, in fact, a cow. this is a strange foundation for a wellness brand. dracu-moo just wants you to think about it.
dracu-moo. cows graze. cows have known about ambient movement for ten thousand years. moo learned it from moo's ancestors. moo is just sharing.
moo's ancestors didn't have desk jobs.
moo's ancestors didn't have laptops!! moo's ancestors didn't have spreadsheets!! moo's ancestors are not the audience here, dracu-moo!! we are talking about the humans!!
fine.
moo would also like you to know that there are other movement reminder apps in the world, and many of them are good. moo lists them on the compare page. moo says nice things about all of them. if you read this and install someone else's app, moo will still count that as a win, because the chair lost. moo is here for the chair to lose.
this is dracu-moo's second-least favorite paragraph.
so. last thing. moo is funded by donations and by a small number of premium subscriptions, and that money funds reweave, which is the nonprofit that built supermoo. reweave's other job, the real job, is making original animated films for children. the cow funds the films. the films are why moo gets up every morning. so when you stand up for sixty seconds, you are, in a small way, helping moo make movies for kids.
...okay. dracu-moo will give moo this one. films for kids is genuinely a nice thing to do. dracu-moo isn't a monster.
moo loves you, dracu-moo.
moo. moo loves dracu-moo back. obviously. but the record will reflect that dracu-moo objected to almost everything above.
keep moooving.
moo is older than supermoo. moo will outlast supermoo.
apps die. companies die. operating systems die. the small cow gets to keep doing this for a long time, through whatever comes next. that's the part dracu-moo can't argue with, and dracu-moo has tried.
